Time for a Good Laugh!
Anyone who’s responsible for recruiting, interviewing, and hiring for their organization has had to endure a rough year trying to find qualified candidates to fill their organization’s openings. The pandemic has amplified an existing challenge, and unfortunately, there’s no immediate relief to this challenge. So, in an effort to provide a moment of stress relief, we are sharing these funny, corny, and/or weird jokes, hoping they’ll get you to smile or laugh a bit during these daunting times. If your boss shows up at your door, concerned about why you’re laughing out loud, please share these jokes; they probably need to de-stress a bit also. :)
Interviewer: “Tell us a little something about yourself…”
Candidate: “I’d rather not, I really want this job.”
A recruiter says to a job candidate, “In this job, we need someone who is responsible.”
The job applicant replies, “I’m the one you want. In my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
Recruiter: “Your resume shows 20 years as a senior executive at the CIA.”
Candidate: “Yes, and they are instructed to neutralize anybody who tries to verify it.”
A recruiter asks a job candidate, “How long were you in your last position?”
The applicant replies, “I’d say my biggest weakness is my listening skills.”
I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.” So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building, and went home. Eventually, he called my cell phone and said, “Bring back my laptop!”
I said, “$200 and it’s yours.”
The job applicant replies, “It was something my boss said.”
“What did he say?” the recruiter asks.
“You’re fired.”
A recruiter asks a job candidate, “Can you can handle a variety of work?”
The job applicant replies, “I should be able to. I’ve had ten different jobs in four months.”
A candidate is being interviewed for a police officer position:
Recruiter: “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”
Candidate: “Call for backup.”
Recruiter: “What is your main weakness?”
Candidate: “My main weakness would be my issues with reality: sometimes I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not.”
Recruiter: “And what are your strengths?”
Candidate: “I'm Batman.”
Recruiter: “What drives you?”
Candidate: “The bus, mostly.”
Recruiter: “I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?”
Candidate: “Missing the bus!”
A hiring manager asks a job candidate, “When do you find you’re most productive?”
The candidate responds, “When the bills are due.”
My boss told me, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”
Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Wonder Woman.
Interviewer: “Why do you want this job?”
Candidate: “Well, I’ve always been really passionate about not starving to death.”
“Your CV is bloated with half-truths, false praise, exaggeration, and unsubstantiated accomplishments. I’d like to hire you to write our Annual Report.”
During a job interview yesterday, I poured some water into a cup and it overflowed slightly. “Nervous?” asked the interviewer. I simply replied “No, I always give 110%”
A recruiter asks a recent college graduate, “What starting salary are you looking for?”
The applicant replies, “In the range of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The recruiter says, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years – say, a red Corvette?”
The applicant sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the recruiter replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
This last joke is for all the recruiters and interviewers who have endured similar scenarios. I encourage you to print and frame it, then hang it in your office or the interviewing rooms at your organization…
Full disclosure: I did not come up with any of these jokes. If you would like to see more recruiting, interviewing, and hiring jokes, they’re all over the internet; here are a few:
https://www.lusha.com/blog/40-hilarious-interview-jokes-all-recruiters-can-relate-to/
https://vidcruiter.com/blog/the-best-recruitment-jokes-to-tell-your-coworkers/
https://i4recruitment.com/2019/05/03/the-best-recruitment-jokes-and-memes/
Enjoy some LOL today!