July 24 is Self-Care Day. Take a Break and Laugh!
By Max Dougé
In honor of International Self-Care Day, take an atypical moment to treat yourself, perhaps a mental health day from work (or possibly from family and friends... just sayin’). A yoga class or retreat, a few hours golfing or fishing, a massage, a day at the pool or beach, a nice dinner with a special person, or anything else that’s a bit out of the ordinary as a form of self-care.
In the event you can’t take a full day for yourself, or even a few hours, at the very least try something different or new. In this post-pandemic era, we’ve learned that many businesses have had some very unusual encounters with prospective job seekers who have arrived for interviews or their first day ill-prepared for their moment; and in far too many instances, they didn’t show up at all. So, in our efforts to provide a moment of stress relief as a form of self-care, we are sharing these funny, corny and/or weird jokes, hoping they’ll get you to at least smile or laugh a bit more than your typical day. If your boss shows up at your desk wondering why you’re laughing out loud, feel free to share a joke or two with them… they may not realize they need it too.
Interviewer: “Tell us a little something about yourself…”
Candidate: “I’d rather not, I really want this job.”
A recruiter says to a job candidate, “In this job, we need someone who is responsible.”
The job applicant replies, “I’m the one you want. In my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”
A recruiter asks a job candidate, “How long were you in your last position?”
The applicant replies, “I’d say my biggest weakness is my listening skills.”
I was in a job interview today when the manager handed me his laptop and said, “I want you to try and sell this to me.” So, I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home. Eventually he called my cell phone and said, “Bring back my laptop!”
I said, “$200 and it’s yours.”
A recruiter asks a candidate, “Why did you leave your last job?”
The job applicant replies, “It was something my boss said.”
“What did he say?” the recruiter asks.
“You’re fired.”
A recruiter asks a job candidate, “Can you can handle a variety of work?”
The job applicant replies, “I should be able to. I’ve had ten different jobs in four months.”
A candidate is being interviewed for a police officer position:
Recruiter: What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?
Candidate: Call for backup.
Recruiter: What drives you?
Candidate: The bus mostly.
Recruiter: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning?
Candidate: Missing the bus!
My boss told me, “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.”
Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Wonder Woman.
“Your CV is bloated with half-truths, false praise, exaggeration and unsubstantiated accomplishments. I’d like to hire you to write our Annual Report.”
This last joke is for all the recruiters and interviewers who have endured similar scenarios. I encourage you to print it, frame it, then hang it in your office or the interviewing rooms at your organization… 😉
A recruiter asks a recent college graduate, “What starting salary are you looking for?”
The applicant replies, “In the range of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The recruiter says, “Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years – say, a red Corvette?”
The applicant sits up straight and says, “Wow! Are you kidding?”
And the recruiter replies, “Yeah, but you started it.”
Full disclosure: I did not create any of these jokes and do not take credit for any of them. If you would like to see more recruiting, interviewing, and hiring jokes, they’re all over the internet; here are some fun sites:
Enjoy some LOL today!